**Hi there, Nicole here!**

Therapy grad student, mixed-race first born daughter, recovering people-pleaser, motherless daughter and Executive Assistant and Student Associate at Positive Perspectives, a collective of mental wellness practitioners from Winnipeg, Manitoba that offer inclusive and diverse therapy services for 2SLGBTQQIA + BIPOC folx.

Your friend just lost a loved one. Here’s what to say instead of “let me know if you need anything”.

If you have ever gone totally blank and been at a loss for words when someone close to you has lost a loved one, this is for you.

First. A few things to avoid:

✋🏾 Making assumptions about their beliefs
✋🏼 Bringing up the bright side by saying “at least…” or “everything happens for a reason”
✋🏿 Saying you understand because your pet died

The worst thing you can say is nothing. Letting a grieving person know you’re thinking of them could be the sweetest thing that happened to them all day!

Even if you don’t know what to say… Say something. Not sure if you should send the text? Just do it! No idea what to say?

Letting a grieving person know you’re thinking of them could be the sweetest thing that happened to them all day! Add in a “please don’t feel pressured to respond to this text” for extra points!

My Mom died three years ago. Before going through that really significant loss, I had no clue how important and personal reaching out to someone after loss was. As a grieving daughter, here are some things that were helpful to me:

✔️ What day can I bring dinner?
✔️ How’s your sleep been?
✔️ I’m here to listen.
✔️ I’m thinking of you.

Bonus points!
❤️ Say their loved ones name.
❤️ Ask them to tell you a story about the person they’re missing.
❤️ Add in a “please don’t feel pressured to respond” for extra points!

Remember. Your words aren’t going to fix this. Silver linings suck. The best thing you can do is continue to love and support your grieving friend.

If you have been experiencing the following, it may be time to reach out to a therapist:

1. You’re always overwhelmed and stressed out.
2. You feel fatigued and no rest is ever enough.
3. You’re angry, resentful or irritated more often than usual.
4. You have constant anxious and intrusive thoughts.
5. You’ve been cancelling plans and feel withdrawn in social settings.
6. You’ve lost interest in things that used to bring you joy.
7. Your motivation feels like it’s at an all time low.
8. You’ve been trying to distract yourself from feeling sad.

Please know that there’s absolutely no shame in needing a little (or alot) of extra support. If you’re feeling curious but still not exactly sure if therapy is for you, I would be honoured to connect with you.

Book Now

If you’re someone who is processing loss and would like to grieve with some guidance, I am welcoming new guests for online & in-person therapy.

Chat with you more soon,

Nicole Allan (she/her)

Executive Assistant and Student Associate of Positive Perspectives